What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is linked to those who above all know their own value, who feel good about their way of being, thinking and acting. This feeling is linked to self-confidence, to the fact of knowing clearly what our capabilities are and where we can get with what we are.

Self-esteem comes to be a positive quality in people when balanced and well worked and the lack of it can lead to bad feelings and low productivity in various areas of life. Understand now how self-esteem acts, which characteristics of those who have low self-esteem and what you can do to start changing it today.

Meanings of self-esteem

Who are we? It has always been a question that has permeated the philosophy circles around the world in all times of humanity, be it in Babylon or in Greece, the great thinkers have always dwelt upon this deep and extremely complex question.

The internalization for the answer to this question is simply unavoidable, because we can think we are a human since that is what our DNA points to, or are we a set of thoughts and ideals that define us in society? This question connects with what self-esteem is because in order to connect with the outside in an efficient way you need to know your inner self.

Meaning of self-esteem

As the word itself already makes understood, self-esteem means the ability of a person to self-evaluate and see their positive and unique points. Basically give yourself value, regardless of external division judgment, free of judgments or oppressions, is your ability to see the value you deliver to the world.

This ability involves how much you respect and admire yourself in a true way, leaving aside the masks you put on for society. Self-esteem is your power to stimulate yourself to the point of not letting the external influence the internal because you know how good you are, regardless of anything or anyone.

Meaning of low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is just the opposite of the word, also self-explanatory, it is when the person does not have the ability to admire himself and feels inferior before the world in which he lives. It is not nonsense or something unimportant to have low self-esteem because this condition can lead to various problems in your life, triggering serious syndromes.

The cause of this problem can come from a series of events where the person feels inferior or someone in their childhood who made them feel that way, and after being an adult they still continue to suffer from this problem of not feeling special and not trusting their abilities, regardless of how good the person is.

Meaning of high self-esteem?

Self-esteem is a feeling that everyone regardless of what they are needs to have, this is the feeling responsible for many gains in our lives, from winning the partner of your life to reach the desired level of success at work. Some may confuse self-esteem with arrogance, but the big difference is in the balance.

Yes, a person who has very high self-esteem can become an arrogant person especially if that person suffered from low self-esteem, but the middle way is always the best. Having high self-esteem means that you know your value to the world, not necessarily better than someone else, but as good as anyone.

Modalities of self-esteem

Self-esteem is a feeling that manifests itself in all areas of our life, not always a person who has a high self-esteem in one area necessarily have in all areas of your life, and it is normal to feel insecure in one thing or another, but this insecurity needs to be the fuel that feeds you to always improve more.

Understanding each phase of your life and which area requires your attention is exactly the challenge of living, and everything goes through the internalization of the being. Some people have the ability to influence you to acquire more confidence in yourself, but the definitive process depends solely and exclusively on you.

Female self-esteem

Women tend to have more problems with self-esteem than men, even though this rate becomes more balanced when looked at by all areas of life, women still figure with a higher rate. The charge of society mainly related in the standard of beauty is something very harmful because it affects as a whole the majority of women.

Fortunately society is evolving and women are increasingly conquering their space as an equal, in addition to that the standard of beauty is changing more and more to beauty without standard. The unique beauty is becoming increasingly valued and thus empowering many women who previously suffered from low self-esteem.

Self-esteem in pregnancy

A magical time for a woman is her pregnancy period where the process of being a mother is happening, this does not mean that it is not also an extremely challenging time because in theory the woman feels more "ugly" and feels the changes in the body and hormones with more intensity, besides the natural fear of this whole process.

An aggravating factor that can happen at this time is the attitude of the partner, women who live in an abusive relationship, tend to suffer even more in this period. But the truth is that this moment is magical and empowering, generate a life is something unique to women and despite the challenges in the end is very worth it.

Self-esteem in the relationship

One of the posts of greater difficulty is perhaps a person to maintain in their individuality their self-esteem, today a discussion that permeates the world are the abusive relationships that in practice the abuser removes the self-esteem of the partner in order to have that person stuck to himself, with the debate coming to the fore many people have freed themselves.

Understand that one person in a relationship has the role of adding as much as the other is essential. Seek and relate to someone who will challenge you to be better and who will build together, through a solid partnership, the future you so much desire.

A healthy relationship is a fertile field where each individual's self-esteem blossoms and a tree of love and trust is erected, two individualities forming something greater.

Children's self-esteem

The importance of self-esteem has been assuming a prominent role in public debate as a whole, but one thing that is little observed is that the events that led an adult to have a low self-esteem, in its great majority happened in childhood. A big mistake is to think that a child does not understand things or forget with time.

Some experts say that a child's personality is shaped by the time they are 7 years old, and this is very important to understand how much patterns and ideas a child can carry. A trauma or abuse in childhood can take away their ability to feel confident or important.

Self-esteem in adolescence

This is a phase where many changes happen, where a child goes through the maturation process and prepares for adulthood. Discovering a new world can in itself be traumatic, but then there is the physical change in the body, the increased responsibility and the deeper socialization among peers.

This is the moment when the opinions of others start to be important and competition begins to happen, the fact is that not all opinions will be positive and it is worth a deep parental support so that the correct understanding of things is made and this teenager knows how to interpret and accept the changes with confidence and discernment.

Self-esteem in old age

The precious moment of life also known as "best age" is a challenge as all stages of life, because many things are different in the world and the person no longer feels the same, at this time as well as in others, understand the phase is the great secret. Wisdom and experience help to clarify ideas better, but it is necessary to think.

Stimulating self-esteem since childhood is the main point for a person's life, because if she understands her individuality and importance to the world as she is from an early age, she will adapt over the years, maturing and strengthening more and more, reaching the third age with a fuller mental and physical health.

Signs of low self-esteem

Even if you understand the concept and have strengthened your self-esteem, life does not follow a constant and several factors can lead you to have falls in your self-esteem, especially in times of change and challenge, this is normal and will happen to everyone at some point, the secret is to understand, accept and overcome these moments.

Low self-esteem is a problem that has led to other problems in social, professional, physical and mental life. So it is extremely important to keep your confidence high and not let some moments become something continuous. Some signs will present themselves in these moments, indicating that something is not right. See below what are the main signs.

Excessive self-criticism

Self-criticism needs to happen, this is even a great tool to acquire confidence, but when it takes an extreme tone it becomes harmful and shows that self-confidence may be shaken. A clear sign is when only the error, however small, is the only thing that really matters to the person.

Looking at life only for the mistakes is a problem because this will undermine self-confidence and mainly generating many frustrations in the middle of the way, besides being a cycle where the more you look only for the error more mistakes you make and more undermined becomes your self-esteem, until it becomes something paralyzing.

Excessive fear of making mistakes

Fear is perhaps one of the mechanisms of our brain of greatest importance, a person without fear is not a brave person, ends up being reckless and irresponsible. Fear has kept the human being alive since the time of the cave beings. But the same fear that prevents you from losing can also prevent you from winning.

When a person begins to feel an excessive fear of making mistakes this means that their self-esteem is low, especially if it is in something that she always did, this usually happens after some mistake that the person made and due to their extreme self-criticism was evolving until it becomes a paralyzing fear of functions.

Thinking too much before acting

Thinking before acting means having wisdom because one assumes the risks and consequences of certain action, but certain decisions are almost natural, especially when they involve areas that the person knows and dominates. Despite this domain, a person with low self-esteem feels insecure to make the right decision.

The problem seen in a person with low self-esteem is a problem that can be observed in any person, but the difference is that it involves the areas of performance and competence that the person has the knowledge and expertise to do in an almost natural way, but by lack of confidence can not.

Being overly critical of others

This sign is a weapon of defense against their own insecurities, when being efficient and having value to add does not seem something that the person can do he may develop a defense mechanism that is to attack and highlight the mistakes of other people to feel better or not to have their mistakes highlighted.

Criticizing others too much is a sign of low self-esteem that begins to directly affect the social relationships of the individual and this can manifest within any relationship. People have the natural difficulty of living with people this way and mainly understand that this is an escape mechanism.

Neglecting one's own needs

Self-esteem is 100% looking at yourself and esteeming yourself as an individual in the midst of the whole, when this capacity is low the primordial needs become neglected because the thought that follows is "if I'm not good, then why do good things to me?", this can be extremely harmful.

The basic needs that are neglected can vary greatly in all areas of life generating even more problems, it is possible to neglect health and have diseases, it is possible to neglect the partner and break up, it is possible to neglect the job and let someone else rise to the position and a series of real problems of everyday life.

Trying to please everyone

The extreme desire to feel accepted is a big problem seen portrayed in several teen movies where the excluded girl does everything for the popular school to feel accepted in the midst of the group where she doesn't even feel good. This happens because humanity has evolved to live in community and deep down everyone seeks to be accepted.

Those who have low self-esteem feel a pathological need to please other people regardless of how harmful it may be for you, giving up their principles and even their values in order not to displease, besides having immeasurable difficulty in saying no, because they are afraid that this may upset the person.

Comparing yourself to other people

This attitude tends to be a negative statement to sustain low self-esteem and feed the feeling of inferiority. The comparison with other people in its great majority tends to be only with the positive parts of the person's life, without looking at the whole and the contexts involved.

People with low self-esteem tend to look at the life of the person who is at a stage far above yours that sometimes is just beginning and this ends up being a paralyzing impediment to start or take any kind of attitude. The neighbor's grass may even be greener, but certainly not fit in your backyard and you see only what is shown.

Complaining too much about life

Everyone complains about life at some point or in some situation, the ability to feel nonconformist with the current life is what drives many people to grow and develop. Some people say that the secret to the full life is to live constantly nonconformist, but complaining without acting is just lamentation without action.

Complaining too much about life is a sign of low self-esteem because the only reason for the complaint is to complain. These people tend to move from complaint to complaint as the original one is resolved, because their inner self is unstable and this can manifest in the external where nothing is ever good enough.

Being overly concerned with the opinions of others

It is a fact that humans have evolved to live in community, in ancient times live in community was necessary for survival and is exactly because of this genetic inheritance that we all care about other people's opinions, however many people who say they do not care this is just bullshit.

But when a person has low self-esteem this "caring about the opinion of others" becomes almost a desperate search for approval, then every micro decision, even the color of blouse that will wear will need to pass the opinion of someone and that if it has a contrary opinion is immediately accepted.

Constant feeling of guilt

Guilt is in itself a negative feeling that with or without reason it causes some chemical reactions to be released in the body generating emotional wear and tear and even physical pain. Guilt is also an alert created by our body to correct a behavior that goes against the pre-defined standards of what is right or wrong for the person.

The constant sense of guilt that a person with low self-esteem feels is on an enabling level or for example feeling guilty about being chosen in a job interview over someone else. These are feelings usually linked to not feeling worthy of receiving certain treatment or recognition from life.

Attitudes to improve self-esteem

The improvement of a person with low self-esteem goes through a process and this process is directly linked to the internal visitation that the person needs to do to discover their value and their individualism in the world. This self-knowledge is necessary not only to increase self-esteem, but for overall mental health.

The necessary attitudes for you to increase your self-esteem go through an understanding before, this understanding is that you are the only person who can help yourself at this time and that comes from you the responsibility to build your improvement and your rise little by little, the secret is to always maintain constancy, slowly and always.

Self-acceptance

The first thing you need to do is accept yourself exactly as you are, understand your individuality and become aware of your self. Be aware of your faults, but above all understand the power of your qualities and how many people there are in the world who cannot do what you do and feel grateful for it.

Self-responsibility

Taking responsibility for the things that happen in your life is something empowering, because if you take responsibility you have the power to change what is needed, if the fault is only the other or the world, nothing you can do, but if the responsibility lies with you, the power to make it different is within you only.

Self-affirmation

Have you ever heard the saying that a lie repeated many times becomes the truth? Then something in your life has lied to you many times that you can't do it.

Now you need to repeat for your brain to believe something other than that and with that some key words that make sense to you can help you, speak every morning: "I want" "I can" "I can" "I deserve" and "it's worth it".

Intentionality

Set the intention in your change process, be firm and take control so that you feel that this change is part of you. Firmness of purpose is something extremely important because challenges will happen, the journey will not be easy, but when you determine and really feel the intention within you nothing can stop.

Personal integrity

Personal integrity will be useful for several moments and this is independent of their self-esteem, build a base, a foundation of what are their principles and values and do not give them up for anything, do not make concessions or agreements, stand firm because then you will no longer allow yourself to be used in any way.

Comparisons

Don't misunderstand, here we are not going to say that you should compare yourself to other people, but during your process it is important to compare yourself to yourself from the past, see the small victories you have achieved and the small things you have evolved since the beginning of your long journey.

Why is it important to have self-esteem?

Why is self-esteem connected to all areas of our lives? It's what gives us the compass of what we deserve to receive. Without self-esteem you accept anything because you don't think you deserve anything better. Most of the time that's not right because we deserve amazing things in our lives and we also deserve the opportunity to improve and dedicate ourselves to deserve more.