General considerations on passive-aggressiveness

Passive-aggressiveness can be characterized by silence, with violent positions being concealed, but containing a dose of victimization. In other words, debauchery, anger, fury are seen in a person who doesn't like to be contradicted.

It can often be seen in interpersonal relationships, giving rise to unfavorable environments. Using phrases such as: "Don't worry", "I just want to help" and "It's OK, I understand", but adding aggression to the tone of voice, it's possible to close down a subject and not continue it.

This treatment can be seen as an attitude that gives the feeling of an unresolved situation, silencing the other person in an argument and making them feel uncomfortable. They may even feel guilty, the circumstance places them as the real aggressor, but without them being one. Now, read the article to understand passive-aggressiveness!

Understand more about passive-aggressiveness

By concealing feelings, passive-aggressiveness is transformed into silent attitudes. Thus, in a possible conflict it will be possible to see one person's displeasure with the other, but the passive-aggressive person is transformed into an individual capable of not being transparent with their emotions.

This is why they hide the anger they're feeling, closing themselves off in total silence with bad moods, indirectness and irony. They make it difficult to have a healthy exchange, they don't establish clear communication, they give arguments that are difficult to answer, and they act with a certain "kindness".

Signs like this are clear from this perspective, especially when it comes to masking anger with mild attitudes. In other words, these stances are intended to irritate, but in a way that doesn't make you feel guilty for the irritation. Read on to find out more about passive-aggressiveness!

What does it mean to be passive-aggressive?

Being receptive, the passive-aggressive person is the one who is open to another person's wishes, but internally creates a certain resistance to agreeing. Gradually they can become angry, hostile, aggressive, having difficulty expressing negative actions.

Signifying emotions in a non-assertive way in a passive mode, maintains stubbornness and procrastination. Still having trouble admitting it, he doesn't give away that he's frustrated or angry. Messages with double meanings are implemented, as well as sarcasm.

Passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior can be transformed in a very competitive environment, including actions that leave an individual in full control of their attitudes. There can be levels within this context, even adding up to a personality disorder.

For those who rely on these attitudes becoming ingrained, it can be even easier to identify and not want to change such behavior.

Passive-aggressive disorder

Negatively, passive-aggressive disorder is subtle, especially in the face of actions. A person with this trait doesn't deal with their attitudes at all, but positions themselves in an aggressive way, but indirectly. Dissatisfaction is visualized in their attitudes.

In this way, not complying with what has been asked of you is a way of acting even with procrastination and not getting things done. That's why you don't determine your opinion, but look for ways to sabotage the situation you're in.

Examples of passive-aggressive behavior

Examples of passive-aggressive behavior are those who begin with doses of sarcasm, trying to provoke, ridiculing, speaking in ironic tones. Even getting angry, a person doesn't give room for a discussion to continue.

He also tries his best to disguise the anger he's feeling, in a bad mood, making the atmosphere tense. He may even throw a tantrum, undoing certain agreements in retaliation.

Is being passive-aggressive always a problem?

Passive-aggressive disorder can have elevated levels, but the signs are seen with hostility, given your relationship with other people's requests. It also has issues that make you intentionally make mistakes, and can delay a situation.

Cynicism is seen, considering the fact that this disorder is pessimistic and aggressive. He keeps himself in a posture of underestimation, being able to deceive all the time. Other mental disorders can develop in this individual and add to his behaviors.

How to live with a passive-aggressive person

It's not an easy task, but living with passive-aggressiveness is a way of feeling like you're going through a painful and exhausting process. You can live questioning yourself in the face of other people's attitudes, as well as your own behavior and putting yourself in a guilty position.

The only way is to stay away, mainly because it's a toxic environment. In certain circumstances it's not possible, given the daily interaction with someone in the family or even a boss. In this sense, it's important not to fall for or play into their hands.

The manifestations of passive-aggressiveness

The manifestations of passive-aggressiveness enter into a context favorable to the aggressor, mainly using manipulation, distortion, articulation, oppression and control. All these attitudes place the aggressor in a comfortable position, leaving no room for the other person to act in their own defense.

What's more, he manages to construct a narrative capable of leading the victim on, often without her realizing it, but with a dose of embarrassment. In other words, leaving her against the wall and not allowing for a healthy exchange.

Actions like these leave you in full drive, hiding angry and aggressive attitudes. Read on to find out more about passive-aggressive attitudes!

Handling

By manipulating, the passive-aggressive wants a certain security in their relationships. They need to act in this way to lead anyone on, but it's not so obvious what they're up to. People who don't see the nastiness can be affected by adding something toxic to themselves.

By using proximity, you can add affection and sympathy. By using the other person's weaknesses, you generate doubt in those around you. You can even cause questions to be raised, leaving others with your qualities without concrete answers.

Articulate speech and distortions

The passive-aggressive builds his narrative with articulate speech, especially when it comes to expressing these attitudes. Always wanting to benefit himself, he is full of enigmatic questions, with ambiguity and communicating easily with others.

They can also distort situations and dialogues, making the other person feel insecure. Their confidence is such that they even gain a certain coherence in their speech, making the principle illogical to the other person who is receiving their attacks.

Control and oppression

Oppression is established in a passive-aggressive person because they use indirect words and attitudes to control. All of this can cover up their aggression, maintaining veiled constructions in their relationships and as a way of punishing.

Reproaches are also visualized, as well as attitudes that leave the other person at an oppressed level, expressing contrary manifestations, verbalizing emotions that are marked aspects of this individual who relies solely on favoritism.

What are the most common causes

The most common purposes in passive-aggression are those that are not so well known, but which have biological indications that can have a direct influence on the disorder or the major development of the condition in question. Even the diagnosis is not solid, and can have certain alterations.

With indications that attitudes such as these are individual, and may not even have other influences, there are professionals who believe that they are an elaborate construction in the face of other disorders, high or otherwise. As such, it can vary from individual to individual, even with few similarities.

Substance and drug use issues are more likely to present an aggravating situation. Read on to understand the most common causes from a passive-aggressive perspective!

Common causes

The most common causes of passive-aggressiveness are a person with a certain narcissistic personality disorder, which consists of extreme deviations in what an individual thinks, feels, perceives and relates to.

Here the Borderline can interfere with self-image problems, as well as difficulty in understanding one's own emotions. As for the bipolar system, it is characterized by mood swings and is a psychiatric illness that can be called manic-depressive.

Emotional neglect in childhood

By neglecting a child's emotional system, passive-aggressiveness gains strength because of certain abuses or mistreatment. It consists of an omission that is affective because of the parents' upbringing, and it is difficult to notice, respond to or even meet the child's needs.

It can also generate a certain affective abandonment, neglecting issues that would be essential for the child. In silence, it can be reproduced as a great emotional damage, not receiving the necessary care to grow up and face certain sentimental difficulties.

Violence that causes suffering

Passive-aggressiveness, being a system that stems from the unconscious, does not eliminate the fact that a person is responsible for the discomfort they have caused in another. Even if they are not completely clear about the act, they are still to blame for what they are directing.

From this perspective, the passive-aggressive person sees themselves as the victim of the situation, mainly because they feel they are being challenged, undermined and abandoned. In their head, they may even come up with a strategy to take revenge by attacking the person they think is responsible.

How to be less passive-aggressive

There are minimal attitudes that can make a difference in relation to the passive-aggressive, because it will be possible to notice their intentions in relation to the processes they are really responsible for. The first step is to recognize their actions and change their attitudes.

Gradually, you will no longer want to be part of this vicious cycle, nourishing yourself more and more with the right choices. In addition, it is essential to understand the fact that anger is a natural feeling in human beings, but to know how to handle it. Standing firm during conflicts will make you resist the processes, while also knowing how to deal with a possible counter response from the other person.

Revisiting your attitudes and behavior is important, given the situations you find yourself in. Keep reading to find out how to be less passive-aggressive in social relationships!

Recognize behavior

Subjective, the behavior of the passive-aggressive person is either high or low. Adding to the subtlety, identifying it isn't so easy, but some characteristics can make the process easier and these include being in a constant bad mood, denying indirectly expressed anger, relying on discontent, etc.

It's even more difficult to analyze the essence of the situation, because it's important to be impartial, so ask yourself a few questions: "Is it possible to avoid people when you're upset?" and "Is it possible to find a bad mood when you're not happy with someone else?" Therefore, it's essential to know how to express your feelings, no matter how much conflict they bring.

Be more assertive

The passive-aggressive needs to be more assertive not only in their attitudes, but also in how they express their feelings. Needs are also important, considering a constructive way. In this sense, it fits in with developed skills, as well as learning.

By also helping to deal with hurt, moments of anger will be more empowering with the right handling. A conflict will be transformed in an assertive way, including an annoyance. By knowing how to handle it, anger will serve as a useful process in one's own purposes.

Refuse to participate in the passive-aggressive cycle

Barring the cycle of passive-aggressiveness is a way of limiting attitudes, given all the emotions that can be deposited in a conflict. A step back means keeping yourself in a favorable position not only individually, but also with others.

This initiative will transform the previously constructed vision, not allowing these feelings to present themselves with all their respective negativity. It is therefore a way of avoiding inappropriate conduct in discussions that can be stressful.

Accept anger as a legitimate feeling

Legitimizing anger and accepting it from a passive-aggressive perspective can change the course of these attitudes handled by the unconscious, while also being fully aware that this feeling is naturalized among human beings.

Not only that, but the fact that it can be healthy in the face of the drive to change certain attitudes. The process may be slow, but it will be at the right time for the evolution of the being, including all its vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

Build tolerance in the face of conflict

It's totally acceptable to understand a lifetime's unpreparedness for conflict, adding all the hallmarks of passive-aggressiveness, as well as ignoring and avoiding all quarrelsome situations.

Welcoming anger and building many skills to prepare for conflict is a way of being assertive, facing what needs to be faced, rather than abandoning or turning your back. Therefore, redefining such a situation will fit into a process of building skills.

Learn to deal with denial

Denial goes through a process of ignoring unfavorable feelings, with a greater tendency to make comments that irritate the other person in passive-aggressiveness. The cycle needs to be conscious, beyond feelings of anger and avoiding getting into an argument.

Understanding the purpose of the conflict is a way of understanding if something is being procrastinated, reminding us of something that needs to be done, but without the insistence. In this purpose it will be possible to see, including all the unmasked feelings, adding all the present consequences.

Revisit situations

Passive-aggressive attitudes can be repeated over time or over the years, and need to be analyzed and remembered. This is due to the questioning that has positioned a person, knowing that a certain attitude has come to nothing.

Asking: "I've analyzed your attitudes and concluded that they are being treated in the same way as I once did, imagining how upset you are with me and wondering what we can do to change this behavior. What do you think?" In other words, recalling something from the past.

Diagnosis and treatment

Diagnosing and treating passive-aggressiveness can be complex, mainly because of the variations between patients, including the fact that it's not something concrete or solid. There are also classifications, alterations, processes that need to be built up with patience.

There's the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is no longer addressed by such a label, and there's another edition that sees this problem as a collection of constructs that include negativistic attitudes, adding to the fact that there is a certain resistance to appropriate purposes and in various contexts.

Therefore, these people are determined by their procrastinations, inefficiencies, stubbornness, while still covering up their respective obstructionisms. Read the following topic to understand about the diagnosis and treatment of passive-aggressiveness!

Diagnosis

Analyzed as something not necessarily specified, passive-aggressive needs to meet a mixture of general criteria for the disorder, but not including the possibility of being based on other traits that include it in other similar disorders.

In Axis II in the DSM-III-R, with the DSM-IV transfer of the manual, but with controversies and the need for research that really portrays the category as it should be treated. In other words, needing improvements to the conclusions.

How the diagnosis is made

A diagnosis of passive-aggressiveness can be made with certain attitudes that are endless in the face of one's own process and those that are deposited in others. Despite variations without concrete analysis, these people live in intense conflicts, adding to the dependence on their affirmation.

Still acting superficially, their self-confidence is weak, based on the way they see themselves with negativity and hostility. It is important to bear in mind that the behavior cannot be assessed as a depressive trait in addition to dysthymic disorder.

The treatment

Treatment of passive-aggressiveness is not as developed, but it also has positive results, using an underlying association. Therefore, it is advisable to look for a psychotherapist, using the example of a psychiatrist.

Symptoms can be treated in order to understand certain triggers, improving life, with the option of psychopharmacological help. Certain drugs can offer treatment, as well as the patient being in full balance in the face of this disorder.

Is it possible to cure passive-aggressiveness?

The healing process for passive-aggressiveness involves looking inwards at one's own circumstances, deeply, but with the perspective of emotions that can move towards something empowering, preventing the negative side from coming to the fore.

It may seem complicated, but it can be done with confidence and determination. It is possible to learn to express emotions, including those that will serve the evolution of the being. In other words, acting gradually, using methods to build well-being.

If you identify passive-aggressive behavior, follow our tips and don't hesitate to seek professional support!

Throughout the article, passive-aggressive actions have been specified, adding the fact that this behavior is harmful not only to oneself, but also to others. Certain actions require the help of a qualified professional and specialist, also paying attention to prescriptions.

Certain emotions need to be worked on as a way of understanding the internal messages that the body wants to pass on, helping life from an individual, personal perspective. The disorder may have been built up in an environment where everyone else discouraged or ignored feelings, having a need to channel energies.

With direction, connection and motivation, it will be possible to take advantage of all the new purposes, looking at mental health in the face of a complex and important assessment. Therefore, the effort needs to be worked on, bearing in mind the oscillations that will be natural.