What is emotional intelligence? Pillars, how to develop and more!

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Jennifer Sherman

General considerations about emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence comes with the proposal of learning to deal with our emotions and know how to manipulate them in a positive way in all aspects of life. Through it you will be able to understand how it influences our behavior and understand your feelings.

By reconciling emotional intelligence and logical thinking you will be able to deal with your emotions and adjust them to your own benefit. This will make your professional and personal life easier, as you will become much more aware not only of your own emotions, but also improve your communication.

Learn more about this concept and become able to recognize and analyze your own feelings in this article!

Emotional intelligence, how it came about and its foundations

Before the concept of emotional intelligence was inaugurated other ideas emerged and evolved throughout the history of humanity. Still, we do not fully understand these issues, but we know their importance for our survival and to achieve our well-being. Follow the reading and understand for yourself!

What is emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a series of attributions directed to emotions. These abilities function as a way for us to perceive our emotions, how we control them, and how we behave when faced with these emotional states.

Among the competencies are interpersonal skills, they are responsible for making us more aware of ourselves, the emotions we feel and the choices we make. Consequently, it will directly influence our decisions. For, emotion actively acts on our behavior.

By understanding this internal process we become able to understand what is happening to us, as well as being able to manage these emotions in a way that does no harm to ourselves or others.

How it came about

The first idea of this concept emerged in the nineteenth century, the naturalist Charles Darwin had coined in his works the idea of "emotional expression". This term was associated with his evolutionary theory, especially in relation to the adaptability of animals. For, emotions would serve as an impetus for survival of the species.

In the 20th century some important concepts emerged for the recognition of emotional intelligence. The first of these was social intelligence, which reflected on man's ability to understand and motivate others through communication. The second concept is that of multiple intelligences, which addresses both interpersonal and intrapersonal aspects of the human being.

These references are fundamental because they opened the way for new theories and perceptions about the human being, since from the concepts of multiple intelligences developed by psychologist Howard Gardner, a universe of research related to feelings, fears and motivations was inaugurated.

However, the real responsible for the birth of this concept were the scientists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer. Through the publication of their article "Emotional Intelligence" in the journal "Imagination, Cognition and Personality" in 1990 that they begin to popularize the term in academic circles.

Daniel Goleman

Despite this, the concept of emotional intelligence was still inserted in a very restricted universe. Even having been published in a renowned magazine, this knowledge was restricted to university circles. It is in this scenario that Daniel Goleman appears, the great responsible for popularizing this concept.

This exciting fact happened in 1995, at that time he was working as a science journalist at the New York Times. He had released the book "Emotional Intelligence" that same year. In his book, he brings to light the clash between IQ and EQ, thus demystifying one of the most recognized intelligence evaluation indexes of the century!

The book soon became a success, selling more than 5 million copies worldwide and being translated into more than 40 languages, which makes it a best-seller, besides calling the attention of the public, making the concept of emotional intelligence accessible to various segments of society.

Foundations of Goleman's model

In his book, Goleman describes the concept of emotional intelligence as an ability to manage your emotions, so you will be able to express them in a more appropriate and efficient way. For, he understands that the control of emotions is a fundamental piece for the evolution of the human being as an individual.

The model on emotional intelligence addressed in his work gives new meaning to emotions, besides revealing a series of skills and abilities that can provide a better performance in all aspects of your life. Therefore, developing your emotional intelligence will ensure better decision making and an improvement in your well-being.

What it means to have mastery of emotional intelligence

Mastering emotional intelligence will put you in a position to notice your emotions, know them and understand their triggers so that you can develop methods to deal with your difficulties. This is a great ordeal, especially when noticing the universe of emotions that exist and we feel.

The biggest challenge is to reflect on these more generic emotions which are widely taught to society as joy, sadness, fear and anger. Thus, when we feel anguish for any adverse situation to us, we begin to classify incorrectly and we do not know how to act appropriately to these stimuli.

Therefore, the importance of being aware of emotions will reveal to us what we feel while experiencing them. That way, we can best deal with our triggers and develop ways to cope with them.

With time and experience you will notice that you are becoming more and more a light-hearted person, optimistic and able to solve any problem. Therefore, it means that you have the mastery of emotional intelligence.

Characteristics of those who have emotional intelligence

In his research Daniel Goleman reports that in 80% of the cases of people who performed excellent mastery over their emotions. They possessed some of the five fundamental characteristics of emotional intelligence. These skills are:

- Self-consciousness

These are people who have demonstrated a deep knowledge of themselves. They are aware of their qualities, their defects and their limitations. Therefore, they can see their potential and respect their limits.

- Self-motivation

This is the interpersonal skill capable of putting your emotions to your advantage. Through it you will be able to manipulate your emotions in order to generate more motivation, resilience, perseverance and provide initiative. You will be using them as an advantage to achieve your personal goals.

- Empathy

Empathy is essential for you to perceive the emotions of others. Through this skill, when you are in a social environment you will be able to identify the needs and pains of others and be able to help them in the best way possible.

- Emotional control

Control of your emotions will ensure an ability to handle any situation in a way that maintains control of your emotions. Through it you will be able to avoid emotional hijacking and ensure your safety.

- Interpersonal relationships

With this skill you will be able to be present in a social environment and perceive emotions in order to manage your relationships and the conflicts experienced in that space. Soon, you will become more persuasive and influential in relationships.

Emotional Intelligence at work

In 2021 LinkedIn did a survey which indicates that resilience and creativity are the two main soft skills most in demand at the moment. However, in addition to this, the new generations are also concerned about developing other skills such as leadership and communication.

Despite this, there are other skills that can be enhanced and are considered as soft skills. They are adaptability, active listening, collaboration, persuasion and innovation, all these soft skills are capable of being enhanced with emotional intelligence and can be an edge in your professional life.

After all, these behavioral skills, known as soft skills, are bringing teamwork experiences into vogue. Since relationships can be directly influenced by our emotional states and our productivity.

What it is to be intelligent and the eight types of intelligence

Intelligence was for a long time considered a characteristic purely associated with the capacity for reasoning and the exercise of logic. Today, we realize that this concept has been expanded to 8 types of intelligence that a person is capable of developing. Understand more about intelligence and its types in the following.

What it is to be a smart person

Ever since the Intelligence Quotient, better known as IQ, appeared, it has been the ideal model for evaluating people's intelligence, becoming a valuable piece of data for professional and academic circles for many decades.

The concept of IQ is associated with reasoning skills, abstract thinking and in the ability to solve problems and learn. All these characteristics involve to some extent the cognitive abilities of the human being.

However, after the idea of multiple intelligences proposed by Howard Gardner, many questions about the single intelligence theory arose. Today this theory has not only fallen apart, but it is believed that human beings have developed eight types of intelligence.

The eight types of intelligence

In broadening this one-dimensional concept of intelligence, several fields and abilities were perceived that should also be valued as intelligence. But they have not yet been fully understood by science, and for this reason they are still not as widely publicized and discussed socially.

It is perceived in everyday life that we are able to articulate and even perform complex activities that are not directly related to our capacity for logical mathematical reasoning. We can make mistakes in arithmetic calculations, but we can write texts or compose music with primacy, for example.

Therefore, based on several researches, eight types of intelligence were identified: Logical-mathematical, Musical, Interpersonal, Intrapersonal, Linguistic-verbal, Visual-spatial, Naturalistic, and Bodily-Kinesthetic.

Musical intelligence

This is the type of intelligence we notice in those who deal with sounds and music. It represents the facility of these people to perceive sounds, noises, to hear and identify musical notes, as well as to process these sounds and compose the notes in different ways. Soon, they begin to create rhythms, timbres and textures.

Linguistic intelligence

Intelligence in the area of linguistics refers to the skills related to oral communication and verbal communication. It also involves other domains of the language itself, such as those of syntactic, semantic and morphological nature.

The person who has a predominance in linguistic intelligence acquires skills that work a better understanding of language and therefore a facility to learn languages, transmit ideas and better communication.

The naturalistic intelligence

If you consider yourself able to distinguish, classify and understand the elements of nature you possess a keen naturalistic intelligence. This is the kind of intelligence that makes people able to recognize the differences and relationships between species, society and the environment.

This is the kind of intelligence that emerged as a basic need for survival. For, early humans needed it to understand natural phenomena and help them recognize the patterns that led them to develop systems of agriculture and hunting, for example.

Interpersonal intelligence

The interpersonal intelligence is directed to the field of relationships between people. It is able to grant skills such as analysis, understanding and interpretations of emotions and intentions of the people with whom you are relating.

This intelligence, combined with linguistic intelligence, offers better interpersonal interaction and is capable of improving one's own network of contacts. Those who develop it easily have a keen empathy, which makes it easier to understand what the other person is feeling.

Intrapersonal intelligence

Meanwhile, intrapersonal intelligence is related to self-knowledge, that is, it concerns your ability to recognize yourself as an individual to the point of knowing what you want, understand your motivations and have a purpose in your life.

Therefore, the person who possesses this type of intelligence tends to develop better his feelings and emotions, due to this refined consciousness about himself.

Visual and spatial intelligence

Visual and spatial intelligence is equivalent to the ability to visualize and understand the world in three-dimensional form. This is the type of intelligence honed by people who work on imagination involving spatial reasoning and the ability to perform transformations in relation to space.

Body and kinesthetic intelligence

This type of intelligence is related to communication between the body and the mind, encompassing the individual and his/her physical-motor capacities. Bodily and kinesthetic intelligence represents abilities such as balance, flexibility, speed and body expression. It is very present in athletes, for example.

Logical and mathematical intelligence

Logical and mathematical intelligence is directly associated with the ability to deal with numbers and logical patterns. People with this intelligence have a keen logical reasoning, having a certain facility in manipulating numbers and mathematical formulas so that they deal better with more abstract problems.

The pillars of emotional intelligence

The model elaborated by Goleman bases a series of competences that sustain the theory described in his work. They are described as the pillars of emotional intelligence, being 3 intrapersonal and 2 interpersonal competences. Follow the reading to know more about them.

Empathy

Empathy is the fourth pillar in the book and the first of the interpersonal skills. This skill is defined by your ability to recognize emotions in other people, this way you will become more sensitive and open.

It also enables you to have a better understanding of the feelings of others. At this point, by exercising empathy you will recognize these emotions and know how to better deal with the people who are close to you.

Self-motivation

This is the competence that defines your ability to seek motivation in yourself. Through self-motivation you will become capable of finding the necessary motives and stimuli to run after your goals.

But, it is important that you know that it will only be possible to develop this pillar through self-knowledge. For, by knowing yourself you will know how to identify your emotional state and how to react to them. By understanding your emotions you will know how to use them in a way that will provide you with greater motivation.

Self-regulation and control of own emotions

In our routine we are dealing with several situations that arouse the most varied emotions in us. Some of them can lead us to become discouraged and stressed, taking away the motivation and making us anxious.

Learning to deal with these emotions requires understanding of yourself and the facts that generated these emotions. Self-regulation and control of your own emotions will arise from rationalizing these emotional states and how you will deal with certain situations.

A negative thought is immediate, while to be optimistic will require a continuous effort of the mind. Look for the positive side of life, remember that in life we will always go through adverse situations and that we are out of control. To deal with this pressure, work on patience and soon you will feel calmer to act.

Self-awareness and knowledge of one's own emotions

Self-awareness is one of the most powerful intrapersonal pillars in relation to knowing your own emotions and the only way to practice it is by being present. By noticing the physical and emotional stimuli running through you you will be able to analyze them in order to have a positive response to your stimuli.

However, this exercise will require patience from you as self-awareness is the kind of exercise that evolves gradually. There are some practices like meditation and mindfulness that will be able to help you work on this state of awareness.

Tips for developing emotional intelligence

The work of their emotions is a continuous practice and requires dedication, the more you exercise your perception about their emotions faster you can deal with them and act in the best possible way. Check out some tips to develop emotional intelligence!

Observe

The best way to create self-awareness is intrapersonal observation, and this is an exercise that should happen all the time. First, start by listing the moments of your day and the emotions you are feeling. Soon, you will notice patterns in your routine that are influencing you negatively, or positively.

With the list made, analyze these moments and seek to understand your emotional states. Each situation will awaken an emotion and each emotion will serve as a support point for you in this process of self-awareness. Soon, you will get out of the automatic and begin to act in a more incisive manner in relation to your emotions.

Master your emotions

One of the most effective techniques that will help you master your emotions is meditation. Through the breathing exercise used in meditation you will have a greater connection between your body and your mind, so you will be able to perceive your emotions and understand the stimuli that led you to that emotional state.

By focusing on your breathing in your daily life you will get out of that automatic state that routine imposes on us, putting yourself in a position of full attention. In this way, you will be able to analyze your emotions with impartiality and know how to proceed in the best possible way.

Improve communication

Our emotions are also influenced by our relationships. At times we may misinterpret people or suffer some type of attack that will generate negative emotions in us. At this point, learning to communicate will put you in a state of consciousness able to fight back these emotions and deal with situations.

This is the interpersonal pillar that most impacts our lives, so the importance of exercising communication will help you better deal with your emotions. In addition, you will become aware that you have no control over the other, so you will not be negatively impacted by them.

Know yourself well

The process of self-knowledge will allow you to understand your qualities, defects and your limits. The knowledge of these points will help you in your search for balance, besides allowing you to learn more about your mistakes and your motivations.

It is by recognizing your qualities and your defects that you will realize your weaknesses and be able to deal with them. These limits will serve as a support point for you to improve yourself more and more in life, besides reinforcing the other pillars and developing your emotional intelligence.

Be resilient

Resilience is fundamental in dealing with the problems that arise in our lives. Remember that problems will always exist and it is up to us to overcome them and move on. But for this, it will be important to develop your self-motivation, so that when these problems happen you can prevent an emotional kidnapping.

By becoming resilient you will evolve much faster in life, because no barrier or challenge that arises in your life will be able to placate you. Most likely, you have already overcome many of these problems, a good start is to observe your past and learn from them!

Learn to deal with pressure

The state of pressure is a constant in our lives. It is fundamental to survival because it imposes on us the responsibility to deal with our problems in order to achieve what is necessary for us to exist. Dealing under pressure will require much more of your self-awareness and full attention than you might think.

For, many times we are dealing with our responsibilities unsatisfied with the fact that we are being pressured. But, we try nothing to do to change this condition. It is through emotional intelligence that you will be able to perceive the factors that lead you to this state of mind and open the way for change.

Remember that the more ability you get to handle your emotions when you are under pressure, the lighter you will feel about your responsibilities!

Why is it important to develop emotional intelligence?

It is common in life to feel this uneasiness close to our existence. Emotions are fundamental to our survival and dealing with them will help you to have a more balanced life.

Developing emotional intelligence will bring several positive outcomes to your life, such as:

- Decreased stress and anxiety.

- Improved interpersonal relationships;

- Have more empathy;

- Have more emotional balance;

- Greater clarity of thoughts;

- It improves your decision-making ability;

- It improves your time management;

- It improves your productivity;

- It will increase your self-esteem and self-confidence;

At this point, you can already identify the 5 pillars that will help you develop your emotional intelligence. Most probably, you have discovered your qualities and defects in relation to the way you deal with your emotions. It is up to you to exercise daily self-awareness to overcome these obstacles.

As an expert in the field of dreams, spirituality and esotericism, I am dedicated to helping others find the meaning in their dreams. Dreams are a powerful tool for understanding our subconscious minds and can offer valuable insights into our daily lives. My own journey into the world of dreams and spirituality began over 20 years ago, and since then I have studied extensively in these areas. I am passionate about sharing my knowledge with others and helping them to connect with their spiritual selves.