What are toxic people?

Toxic people have a relationship similar to parasitism in the animal world. In parasitism, there are two beings, one of which feeds on the other, often until it is exhausted, leading to its death. Toxic people are like that: they feed on those around them, undermining all the positive energy, joy, brightness, and liveliness.

In the context of society, there are many people who exude a luminous aura, their kindness is such that they don't mind sharing, so for any relationship to survive in a healthy way, it needs mutual nurturing. However, there are people who are incapable of nurturing the other and only aim to take for themselves - these pose a danger.

Being toxic is an act that everyone has been once, but what makes it different is the level of awareness and willingness to change. Find out more about toxic people and learn how to deal with them in this article!

How to understand toxic people

Toxic people are often like this due to a number of factors, such as their upbringing environment, negative interactions, strategies, and even behavioral or psychological disorders. For this reason, it is complicated to label someone as toxic as simply being selfish or thinking only of themselves out of pure spite.

Understanding a toxic person doesn't mean that you accept their behavior, it means that you understand why they act that way and that you can understand how they act. This way you shield yourself and learn how to deal with them without getting so worn out. Learn more about victimism, persuasion, and the stance of toxic people below!

The place of victimhood in toxicity

The world, situations, and people are always very unfair to the toxic person, and the person is never privileged in the face of injustice. They are the target of all the worst, and you need to understand their suffering, and you need to offer them warmth, comfort, and love.

The toxicity is in the act of expecting the other to solve your problems because you think he is more privileged, entering into a sum of broken expectations and envy.

Narcissistic Mothers and Fathers

Narcissism is a personality disorder that has many nuances and levels. In it, the person feels the need to be adored, exalted, and admired, and needs his or her high standards of demands to be met, in order to overcome an overwhelming feeling of inferiority. Thus, narcissists seek people at their height, until the processes of competition and annulment of the other begin.

When the child lives surrounded by narcissistic people, there is a high possibility that the child will become narcissistic as a matter of survival. Their own parents compete with them, sometimes to the point of humiliating them and sucking all their self-esteem.

In this way, they have learned that in order to survive, they need to manipulate and persuade the people around them, to save their psychological and emotional lives, regardless of how the other person feels.

Toxic people and the social cycle

The cycle of social interactions consists of moral values that aim for a fair and balanced exchange between individuals. In these relationships, there are values of gratitude, desire for retribution, solidarity, and fraternity for fruitful and positive interactions. The hand that receives will also give something back at some point. But this dynamic does not occur in toxic relationships.

So, either they feel obliged to give back, for fear of being owed money and being manipulated, or they don't care about giving back, because they think it is the other person's duty to give it to them.

Persuasion of toxic people

The feeling of inferiority or loss makes the individual have a more sarcastic, dry and even cruel attitude towards those who have something he doesn't. Because he feels he has nothing, he learns early on to use a tool he has mastered well: persuasion. Thus, toxic people learn to convince themselves that they are victims and try to convince others of that, too.

Persuasion is not a bad element, as long as it is used in a way that does not impact on emotional and psychological levels to take advantage of someone. Unfortunately, toxic people tend to take advantage by persuading to buy time or for more sinister actions.

So, in the same way that they can persuade you that you are great, they can do the opposite and destroy a personality just to meet their goals.

How to respect individuality

It is impossible to change a human being by force, unless he wants to. The same applies to a toxic human being. He tends to put himself in a role in the game of social interactions, and this represents a tremendous comfort zone.

Due to low esteem and an inflated and bruised ego, the toxic person sees any criticism of his or her stance as blasphemy, so don't try to change a toxic person, because only he or she can awaken this awareness.

At most, give a few subtle touches. The best help you can offer is not to lower your head or hand over your head to her in some emotional blackmail crisis. Understand her independence and don't be afraid of her skulking around to other people. Also, respect yourself and the person herself. Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.

How to identify toxic people

Some say that it is simple to identify the toxic people around you, but the reality is that this is a fallacy. Many toxic people act in a passive aggressive way, exhaling their inner poison and sucking others in a more subtle way. But it is in the small details that you can identify toxicity.

From this, it is possible to identify whether you are in a relationship with someone who is toxic or not. Besides sucking out all that is good in you, the toxic person has the facility to control the people around them by using manipulation. Notice well the attitudes that people have towards you, and you will get to know them better.

In a friendship or relationship, it is fundamental that there are some differences of opinion, because you both learn to respect each other's individuality, without leaving the relationship aside. It is by contradicting people, at certain moments, that you will know their real intentions and who they are. Follow along to learn fundamental points about the toxic person!

Cannot hear "no

Often a "no" can be frustrating, but you have to understand that it can teach you a lot. Receiving a "no" helps the human being to reflect on the other. Toxic people interpret it as an offense and an injustice, because it hurts their dominance. A person who doesn't react well to "no" may have a certain tendency to have toxic habits in their relationships.

Be careful, because there are people who disguise it at the moment of a negative answer, but spend the day hurting, trying to hit you in one way or another. In more serious cases, they tend to keep the "no" to throw in your face or even get revenge because they think they have been affronted.

Never supports you

Support from another person is an act of love, solidarity, and kindness. Friends and couples support each other to help each other grow. Because of their complexes and inwardly unresolved issues, toxic people will not support you.

So at times they do it out of spite, but at other times it is simply a reflection of themselves: they can't support themselves and even think that it is impossible for anything to work out.

Always wants to be above

Toxicity is an element that corrodes the person internally. Toxic people have many unresolved inner problems and try to mix this with material achievements.

Thus, one way of self-affirmation is by showing that they are always above someone else, because they only feel good about someone who is at a lower level than they are. Their speech is always very comparative, often triangulating situations.

Always competing

One deliberately complex point in the toxic personality is competitiveness. Toxic people don't compete in a natural way to get the best out of themselves, they do it to prove that they are better than everyone else. The intent is comparison, creating another tool of self-assertion and further eroding their relationships.

Always have available

A toxic individual needs extreme attention in order to get the most out of another's time and to feel loved. For this reason, everyone around him must be available to him, because only then will they prove that they respect him.

This is the toxic person's way of feeling important, because even they don't believe they are, in some cases. In other types of cases, the person acts this way because they think they are exclusive and that only they are worthy of attention.

Manipulation

A delicate point is manipulation within toxic relationships. When people say "no" or are not available when the abusive people want, manipulation comes into play. From a young age, the toxic being learns that they can use emotional and psychological blackmail to get what they want.

Manipulation is an act of breaking the freedom of choice, so be aware that the person next to you does not act this way.

It's all your fault

The victimization of the toxic person allows her to blame you for all the sorrows in her life. If she is upset with you because you didn't do what she wanted, she is not to blame for treating you badly or even ignoring you, it is your fault, since it was you who hurt her.

Thus, toxic people throw the responsibility for their own lives onto others. Their own happiness does not depend on them, but on you.

Negative Gossip

Negative gossip is a tool to annihilate the individuals that the toxic people compare or compete against. The intent is not to share information about someone, the intent is to demoralize as much as possible, making others see the judged object in a negative light.

So, along with the negative gossip, there will be some comparison. Be aware, because anyone who talks bad about someone behind their back may talk bad about you, too.

Always lying

Lying is a strategy to deceive you into believing they are something they are not. Lying, for a toxic person, is essential to escape the moments when someone puts them up against the wall, when they find out they have demoralized someone. Therefore, be attentive to everything that is said.contradict.

How to deal with toxic people in the family

Toxic people exist in many social institutions, especially in the family. Sometimes it can be strange to imagine that a parent or grandparent figure can be toxic. Often the family is seen as a perfect group, made up of people who only want to nurture us with love, and therein lies the danger. It is not because such a person makes up his family that he is perfect.

Mother, father or sibling can be abusive, as can anyone, and understanding this helps you to be more prepared and free of illusions. The first step is to accept that anyone around you can be toxic, even you. Therefore, it is very important to be aware of the signs that people show and how you react. Check out more below!

Do not allow it to be naturalized

Toxicity is something that should never be naturalized, especially accepting that even you can be. Analyzing others and yourself is important in the process of human relationships. Understand, it is not because a person corresponds to your family that he or she will not hurt you, much less that you should accept everything that comes from them.minus you hers.

Search for a support network

The difficult thing about dealing with a toxic family member is the person's constant presence in your life, even more so if it is a parent. Once you understand and accept that your family member is toxic, seek a support network.

With this in mind, friends can be of great role at this time, as they will help you not to feel so down, as well as offering a shoulder or even a corner to spend a few days in while you are not seeking professional help.

Professional Help

Professional help is essential to help in the healing process of the wounds and traumas that were generated by someone toxic. Only a psychologist can measure how deep the scars of the impact of a toxic upbringing are, since the family serves as a base for the development of its members.

Thus, a psychologist or therapist will know how to help break through the limiting beliefs created in that relationship.

Don't wait for the other person to change

To deal with someone who is toxic, understand that no one changes anyone, you can only change yourself. So with toxic family members, you will not be able to change them and make them aware, and if you try, you will only destabilize yourself.

Therefore, the most important thing is to focus on yourself, to seek ways to overcome limiting beliefs of the toxic family relationship, and to seek your emotional independence. Invest in yourself, because the important thing is that the boat doesn't sink with you there.

Cut off contact, if necessary

In some cases, the levels of toxicity are so high that you have to walk away. A family member carries a lot of weight in the opinion of your blood relatives. Now, imagine the psychological impacts generated by a toxic family member.

So if, even if you walk away, the situation is still bad, look for ways to invest in your independence to cut off contact. Then you can get back on your feet emotionally by seeking professional help.

How to deal with toxic people at work

The work environment is one of the places where you spend the most time. Just as the family environment can harbor toxic people, so can the work environment. The problems in this sector take on a new tone: the hierarchies within the environment and the power of control over employees and colleagues.

Each employee's professional area has its own function and attitude, and how others see it has a great impact on his or her career development. In this environment, there is a great deal of competitiveness, comparisons, and even power games - the perfect place for toxic people in search of power or saboteurs of dreams. Read on and you will learn more about this!

Set Limits

In the professional environment, it is important to know that no matter how much you try to please everyone to create a good image, you need to have limits. Know when to be receptive and beware of toxic people who create intrigues, sabotage projects or dreams.

Also, help your colleagues, but set limits and don't allow them to abuse your good will. Do your job, fulfill your duties, and then take the time to help your colleagues.

Avoid unnecessary contact

You can develop good friendships in the workplace, but you should avoid talking too much about yourself, your job, and even your goals and dreams. Sometimes you may think that your colleague is your friend who wishes you well and progress, when in reality he is toxic and wishes he were in your shoes.

So know who you are going to open up to and be aware of that, because you may also run into someone with self sabotaging tendencies.

Do not attribute to yourself

To deal with toxic people, don't make yourself responsible for the actions of your coworkers, much less help them all the time. Have boundaries in your professional relationships and don't get emotionally involved in the work environment, because toxic people can take advantage of the situation and set traps for you.

So it is even possible that they will undermine your energy and motivation to do your best. Attend only to those who encourage you.

Do toxic people know they are being toxic?

When it comes to toxic people, not all of them are conscious of their actions. Many act in this way mechanically, expressing their insecurities, negativity and disbelief in life and projecting it all onto you. A colleague who disbelieves in his own ability may well say that you are not fit to do such a job and undermine your dedication to get a promotion or another position.

Likewise, there are the people who know what they are doing, but it doesn't hurt their system of morality, since the world should revolve only around them. Here, their selfishness is the fundamental tool to move forward, whether it is sabotaging, deceiving, or hindering you. The competition is at a high level, and the toxic person believes that he is the only one who deserves to win, due to his victimism.

So many people don't think they are toxic, when in reality they are. Therefore, it is important to always have a sense of respect, empathy, and analysis of one's own and others' actions in constant action.

Everyone has been toxic at least once, either by discouraging someone or by trying to control them because of envy, jealousy, or competition. However, the important thing is to analyze your actions and prevent hurting others.