What is self-love?

Developing self-love may not be an easy task for many people. In a simple definition, self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that comes from actions that help one grow psychologically, physically and spiritually, and is built through the process of self-knowledge throughout life.

So, self-love goes far beyond beauty and appearance. It is something deeper and relates much more to the acceptance of ourselves as complex beings with their peculiarities. To understand even more about how to develop self-love and its characteristics, follow the information in the article!

Meaning of self-love

For many people, self-love means having affection, care, and admiration for who you are. In fact, this meaning is not wrong. But having self-love can be much deeper than you think. Learn more about some aspects of self-love in the following topics!

Definition of self-love

The first step to understanding the concept of self-love is to understand that even though it is a feeling that is associated with self-esteem, it will not be overnight that you will acquire it.

Accepting that we all have flaws, defects and that every day we are seeking to evolve and do our best in this world also includes the act of self-love. Seeking to have a love for our own choices and for who we are and accepting our limitations and defects are actions characterized as a process of seeking self-love.

The challenge of developing self-love

Cultivating self-love is among the most difficult things in human existence. This difficulty is found by the lack of self-esteem, the remnants of a rigid upbringing, traumas, mental disorders, pessimistic thoughts, fear of relating and being loved, dissatisfaction with life, among others.

Thus, they are aspects of emotional discomfort, and when they are understood and healed, the process of developing self-love becomes easier. The lack of love for oneself ends up resulting in the belief of not deserving, making this search much more difficult.

Therefore, the process of developing self-love is something that lasts a lifetime. It is a long process of self-knowledge, which has obstacles along the way and puts to the test various feelings present within each person.

Self-love and success

Searching for self-love is an important pillar to develop self-confidence, self-esteem and self-knowledge. Without this inner love, it is very difficult to develop these pillars and, therefore, you end up not enjoying life when it is at its peak.

Also, when we love ourselves, we tend to care more about our mental, physical and emotional health, and go on to build a much more solid and mature life. Developing self-love will help you succeed when you need to go through challenges and problems, as this aspect makes you more confident and strong.

Self-love and selfishness

The search for developing self-love can generate a feeling of confusion. Many people confuse the act of loving yourself with being selfish. The fact of wanting your own good does not mean that you are being a selfish person, since, in order to be able to help others, it is necessary to be well with yourself.

On the other hand, when we develop self-love, we are improving the relationship with ourselves, and everything that is learned will be used in the world, whether through relationships, the work we do or our way of thinking. Everything, when built in a balanced way, will give more emotional sustainability.

How to increase self-love

You can start your journey of self-love at any time. All you have to do is to create the internal will to love yourself and accept that this path may be long, lasting a lifetime.

With this, effectively seek the process of self-knowledge in a conscious way is essential to be able to develop your self-love. Only by looking inside yourself, seeking to be honest with your feelings and with who you are, will be able to awaken your self-love.

How to develop self-love

You must be wondering how to develop self-love in a more practical way. Thinking about it, we will list some aspects to, starting today, you start developing the love for yourself. Check out the next topics!

Take care of yourself as you take care of the one you love

Often, some people have an enormous dedication to those they love, that is, they do not measure efforts to do something for others. But this attitude in excess can make you forget about yourself, your wishes and desires.

Your needs should be a priority in this process, since neglecting your own internal desires can lead you to depression, mental exhaustion or anxiety. Taking care of yourself, as you would take care of the one you love, is an act of self-love, since if you are not well with yourself, it is certain that your delivery to the other will not have the best conditions.

Eliminate what is not good for you

Being aware and living your self-knowledge process will help you understand what is not good for you. Only by having contact with experiences will you be able to understand what you don't like.

Therefore, try to be honest with your feelings, taking the attitude of distancing yourself from everything that you feel will not help you in the search for self-love, be it relationships, situations or environments that do not provide you with good experiences. Making this filter will help you connect with your inner love.

Include what is good for you

Keeping in mind and doing more things that do you good is fundamental for you to connect with your self-love. Start observing things you do in your day to day life that generate good feelings, be aware of what they are and try to include them in your life.

Furthermore, filtering which aspects generate good feelings and sensations will help you relate better to yourself and to life, because it will give you pleasure. Therefore, always try to be attentive to these feelings. Bringing this to your advantage will help you in the pursuit of self-love.

Seek awareness

For your quest for self-love to be more effective every day, it is essential to be aware that this is a process that takes time or a lifetime. Nothing in life is transformed overnight, because everything takes a necessary time by nature, and it will be no different on this journey.

So, bringing awareness that it takes time and that this process is for you to relate better to your own life will help you to be stronger in the face of challenges in the area of self-esteem. Being aware of why you are doing this will help you to have motivation when things are heavy.

Do what has to be done

To face life with more love and simplicity is to accept the naturalness of things. We can only grow each day when we accept that, in this process, there will be questions that simply need to be asked, and not questioned.

Therefore, think that for you to acquire your self-love, some things are going to have to be done. Accepting some defects, deeply understanding who you are, changing situations that you don't accept or that don't do you good are within these contexts that may appear in this journey. For change and for a more balanced mental health, it's worth the effort.

Mantras and positive dynamics

In the quest for self-love, repeating a few mantras can make you more confident and stronger. A simple exercise you can do is to repeat for a few minutes things you would like to believe you are, for example: "I am good, I am strong, I am happy, I am creative, I am a being of peace".

This type of exercise can be done at any time, but it works best when you wake up or before you go to bed. Other people also do this exercise by looking into a mirror. The repetition of the words and the act of looking into the mirror help your unconscious mind reprogram whatever may be sabotaging you, increasing your self-esteem.

Overcome the past

There are people with little self-esteem who are too attached to the past and get stuck in such a way that they end up losing all the brightness of life in the present. They cling to the mistake they made, the conflicts they created, what they could have done differently and did not do, etc. So remember: what is past cannot go back.

Understanding that life is an eternal search for transformation and improvement will help you live more in the present. The present provides something very valuable: more time to do something in a different way. So try not to live in the past, look past actions as learning and try to do differently today and now.

Give up comparisons

When you seek to compare yourself to others, there is a big sign that your self-love is affected. The comparison directly affects your self-esteem, making you feel incapable. After all, each person is born differently, has different stimuli, sees the world differently, and there is no reason to compare these points.

So, comparing your life with other people's results can make you sadder. Therefore, try to identify where you are and try to compare only your own results. Focus on your evolution and on what makes you feel good, trying to put value in everything you do.

Self-acceptance and self-forgiveness

Accepting yourself is very different from feeling conformed. Conforming to a bad situation is not very good, but accepting it, understanding it and wanting to change it will be very constructive for your life. Accepting who you are and where you are will help you make things less tense and help your self-love.

For this, it is important to try to forgive yourself for mistakes made in the past. Internal acceptance comes from the moment we can forgive our own faults and understand that there is always a new day to start over and do it differently. So, accept who you are and forgive your mistakes, since making mistakes is something natural.

Seek self-confidence

No one knows better than you what your needs are and what really makes you happy, so look at them with affection and seek the confidence you need to make effective changes in your life. Believe in your potential and that only you are capable of changing your life, because this is a step forward to self-love.

To increase your self-confidence, try to accept that you need to take risks and face challenges. Only by facing them will you get to know that you are capable of overcoming them. Mistakes are part of any transformation process, so go ahead in the quest to get to know yourself better in this world.

Dedicate yourself

In the process of achieving self-love, it is important to dedicate yourself to you. Therefore, do not measure efforts to devote your time in activities that do you good. Eat well, do physical activities, have a hobby and try to surround yourself with people who bring good energy into your life. This will make a total difference in this process.

Also, seeking to change your habits is a very important step in building your self-esteem. By seeking to have this attitude, your body and mind will react much better in the face of life. So take a moment for you to build a more solid emotional health.

Characteristics of a lack of self-love

In the process of self-knowledge, it is important to keep an eye on the aspects that characterize that you are with a lack of self-love. Therefore, check out in the next topics some examples!

Question what they do for you

The act of always questioning what people do for you can characterize a low self-esteem. All of this can be behind negative thoughts and feelings that are part of you with a frequency. Therefore, you will always question the achievement of others towards you.

People who have low self-esteem tend to question what others say and do. They often think that no one loves them and feel very affected by criticism, thinking that there is something fishy behind other people's good deeds.

Lives on the defensive

Being constantly looking to defend yourself in a constant defensive situation is a sign that there is a lack of self-love. Lack of self-confidence and insecurity keeps you in a state of alertness that is often unwarranted.

So, being on the defensive causes you to act always anticipating the worst, not allowing you to be objective about the issues going on around you. Staying in this state will enhance your feelings of sadness, causing you to experience a constant state of fear.

Avoid conflict

If you're the kind of person who always tries to avoid conflict by pretending everything's fine - that is, instead of standing up for something you don't like, you'd rather give up to avoid problems - watch out, because this could be a sign of low self-esteem.

The problem is that this lack of self-love will not give you enough strength to stand up for what really matters to you. The fear that others will be angry with you or despise you for standing up for your opinion causes you to accept things that are not true to you, just to make the other person happy.

You're always comparing yourself

The habit of always comparing yourself is a clear sign that you are not a person who loves himself. The problem is that people who don't love themselves end up overdoing the comparison, especially in aspects where they are ill-prepared.

In addition, a person who does not love himself will always seek reasons to compare himself, even though he does not exist, evidencing the lack of self-love or insecurity.

Your victories are attributed to luck

Of course, some things in life happen with some aspects involving a lucky moment. However people who don't have enough self-love, when they conquer something, are not able to recognize their own value in what they have conquered.

For this reason, they end up not valuing their own result and their own abilities, because they think that their effort was not enough for a certain achievement. Many times, they end up depositing all their credits by the luck factor.

Higher chances of abusive relationships

When a person cannot recognize their self-love, they become totally open to impositions from other individuals. Because they cannot identify what makes them feel good or what their limits are, they are more exposed to having abusive relationships.

In addition, because she does not believe in her own capacity and has low self-esteem, she is afraid to take a stand when faced with abusive relationships.

How important is it to develop self-love?

The quest to develop self-love may not be a simple task, as is any aspect that relates to human feelings. However, its development is very important to improve your relationship with life.

Thus, by developing your self-love, you will understand that your happiness is in your own hands and that, being something of great value, you cannot leave it subject to the control of others. So, love yourself and find your value in this world!