What is egocentrism?

Self-centeredness is a way or set of behavioral attitudes that some individuals have because they are very concerned about themselves. Therefore, a person is considered self-centered when he puts himself as the most important part in all situations, seeking all the attention for himself.

Another relevant point in the personality of self-centered people is that they are concerned only with their own opinions. In addition, they have no capacity to be empathetic, so they cannot understand the pain of others. For these people, they are the center of the universe, so whatever has no connection with their lives is uninteresting.

In this article we will talk more about self-centeredness, we will bring information about this behavior, such as the types of self-centeredness during people's life, the characteristics of these people, the disadvantages of ego and how to deal with these individuals.

How egocentricity accompanies the person

Self-centeredness is generally defined as a set of behaviors that indicate that a person devotes all of his or her attention to himself or herself. Typically, these people tend not to give up their way of thinking and their opinions.

In this section of the text you will understand how self-centeredness accompanies people's lives at various stages. How is self-centeredness in childhood, adolescence and also in adulthood.

Childhood Egocentrism

One of the characteristics of child development is the difficulty in sharing their toys and objects with other children. Sometimes this behavior can be mistaken for selfishness, but this is not the case.

At this stage of development, the child is not yet able to coordinate the point of view of others with his own and this is a time when he is beginning to form the idea about property. Therefore, he is learning to differentiate what is his, what is the other's and what is for common use.

At this time in a human being's life, he or she does not yet have the capacity to understand that others have perceptions, feelings and thoughts that are different from their own. To help the child go through this understanding calmly, parents and educators have a great responsibility, mediating conflicts. During family life, the child can also learn the concept oflove and compassion.

Egocentrism in adolescence

For some adolescents, self-centeredness can be a very striking behavior in their lives. Having just emerged from childhood, they need to find a way to stand out from others through their behaviors and attitudes. Because of this, they end up not taking into consideration the thoughts and feelings of others.

While in childhood selfishness is related to a lack of knowledge of the theories of mind, in adolescence this behavior has no connection whatsoever with a lack of understanding of the mental processes of others. Their self-centered attitudes are linked to the need to affirm their independence, something very important to them at this stage of life.

Egocentrism in adulthood

In adulthood, egocentricity causes people to treat others badly, and from this cause hurt and resentment to those who live around them. Thus, those who live with egocentric people need a greater dose of patience and emotional control, not to be hurt by the conduct and words of these individuals.

The most difficult thing in this situation, is that the self-centered person is not aware that his behavior is unpleasant and he finds it difficult to act differently. For him, there is nothing wrong with his behavior, therefore, there is nothing to be changed. A reflection on his mistakes will only happen if they have to face a very bad consequence for their attitudes.

Characteristics of egocentrism

Living with self-centered people is not a very easy situation to face, usually these people treat others with disdain and even disrespect. In this way, they often cause discomfort in their companions, family and friends.

In this section of the article we will understand some characteristics presented by egocentrism such as, insecurity, low self-esteem, feeling of superiority, lack of empathy, distortion of reality, exhibitionism, manipulation, cynicism, desire for control and difficulty in accepting criticism.

Insecurity

Self-centered people appear exuberant, ambitious, and confident in the way they talk and act. Those around them are easily charmed and won over by their way of acting and are also admired for their display of self-esteem. This is because these people are able to spend a whole day talking about themselves and their achievements.

However, a very strong trait in their characteristics is the insecurity, fears and uncertainties that these people seek to disguise with their grandiose acts. Thus, they believe that those around them will not notice their defects. Self-centeredness is a defense tool, which is adopted by them.

Low self-esteem

Self-centered people show outsiders that they value themselves too highly, but because of their insecurity they also have a very fragile self-esteem. They therefore do their best to compensate for what they think is wrong with them by acting and behaving in an excessively grandiose way.

To overcome these forms of compensation, people need to be willing to face their fears. Seeking professional help to understand, for example, if their fears about making mistakes come from a possible rigid upbringing.

Feeling of superiority

The feeling of superiority is one of the characteristics brought by self-centeredness to people. By trying to be someone they are not, people develop a sense of grandeur believing they have immeasurable talents.

In addition, they praise their achievements and possessions, and always seek to be close to socially prestigious people. These actions are always aimed at achieving their goals, whether material or emotional.

Lack of empathy

Another characteristic of self-centeredness is lack of empathy, as self-centered people cannot understand the feelings, perceptions and opinions of others fully. So too, they lack the ability to show sincere affection and care.

The only time they show any feeling is a strategy to meet their need to be praised. Therefore, their few moments of showing attention are for their own benefit in the future.

Distorted reality

Self-centeredness causes people to have a distorted perception of reality, because they have a great need to be in the center of attention. Only facts that are favorable to their egocentric desires are seen as reality.

These people also tend to put themselves in the place of victims when someone goes against their opinions or acts differently than they expect. With this strategy they gain the sympathy of the "adversary" for some time, while they plan how to retort.

Exhibitionism

Another mainstay of egocentrism is exhibitionism, which is present in the actions, speech and thoughts of egocentric people. To establish themselves, they need to show off their expensive clothes, the house where they live, their decor, professional achievements and everything else they can get.

To satisfy his exhibitionism, the egocentric plans what to wear to an event for hours, and his spectacular way to arrive at the party and thus stand out among the other guests. All very well calculated to receive the highest praise and flattery.

Manipulation and cynicism

Self-centeredness brings manipulative traits, cynicism and lies. These are people who will go to any lengths to get what they want. They have no problem using others to achieve their goals.

Their interests are linked only to situations that are advantageous so that they can get some benefit or opportunity in return. They usually approach those who are growing, either professionally or financially, and so try to take some advantage.

Desire for control

People affected by egocentrism need to have their ideas at the center of attention, so they need their interlocutors to agree with their narratives. With this, they try to manipulate and control others.

They use various maneuvers to try to get others to act according to their ideas, and in this way, to devote unconditional admiration. In order to control those around them, they usually use emotional blackmail and manipulation.

Criticism is not welcome

A self-centered person usually does not take criticism well, so they have intense reactions to opinions that they believe are incorrect about their attitudes and personality. In situations like these, they have unrestrained reactions that involve yelling, insults, debauchery, sarcasm, and ignorance.

Normally, they are seen as someone who lacks emotional control, because they are always getting involved in arguments. Another point quite out of reality for egocentrics is the difficulty in making self-criticism in an unbiased way. The analysis of themselves either sees them as heroes, or else as insignificant people.

Disadvantages of egocentrism

People who are affected by self-centeredness live situations of great disadvantage, usually feel great sadness, facing moments of feeling empty. This happens because their way of acting with others, makes them move away.

In this excerpt from the article understand what are the disadvantages caused by egocentrism as not knowing how to deal with the individuality of people, play on others their problems, not being able to put yourself in other people's shoes, go through moments of loneliness, among other situations.

Doesn't know how to deal with individuality

Self-centeredness makes people have an attitude of seeing only their interests and concepts, totally disregarding the needs and ideas of others. Thus, they do not care about the individuality of each person, only their interests should be taken into account.

This problem of egocentrism is related to a lack of understanding of reality, not to a moral issue. By having a distorted view of the world, they see as correct only their personal reading of the contexts, since for these people, they are the center of the world.

You take your problems out on others

Self-centered people believe that everything that goes wrong in their path is the responsibility of anyone but themselves. Thus, whenever a problem occurs in their lives, they put the blame on other people in an aggressive and rude way.

To recognize their mistakes and failures is something inconceivable for those who are affected by egocentrism, besides not accepting criticism and not listening to opinions different from their own. They prefer to judge others for their own mistakes or run away from situations.

Does not put yourself in the other person's shoes

It is something impossible to see a person with self-centeredness put themselves in the place of another, usually these individuals have no empathy. They see the other simply as an object, an instrument to achieve their goals and objectives.

Therefore, they don't think twice to take advantage of people who show affection for them to get some benefit. Of course, every human being goes through moments of selfishness, but usually feels weight in conscience for his acts, apologizes and tries to repair his mistakes. With the self-centered ones there is no repentance or apologies.

Solitude

Due to their self-centeredness, these people experience moments of sadness, loneliness, and even a sudden feeling of emptiness. This is because their way of acting and expressing themselves causes others to withdraw, what was admiration turns into disappointment.

The coexistence between egocentric people and their friends, co-workers and even family members, makes them stay away from egocentric people to maintain their mental health. Usually those who possess egocentrism can not cultivate very close relationships.

How to deal with self-centered person

The coexistence with those who have egocentricity as a main characteristic is very difficult, egocentrics usually treat other people rudely. Thus, it is necessary a lot of patience and emotional control to deal with them.

In this part of the article you will learn some tips on how to deal with self-centered people like being careful with manipulation, being imposing with respect, not allowing yourself to be intimidated and trying to give constructive criticism.

Careful handling

To deal with people who live in self-centeredness you have to be careful with their great capacity for manipulation. If these people manage to do their manipulation from the beginning of the relationship, whether in friendship or love relationship, it will be very difficult to get out of their game.

With their ability to manipulate, they will get others to do whatever they want. And when you least expect it, the egocentric has already taken over all the spaces of your life. Show that you demand respect for your individuality.

Impose yourself with respect

Maintain respect, but stand up for yourself, because the self-centered person needs to understand that he cannot simply take advantage of others to satisfy his ego. You must prevent the person's self-centeredness from making you inferior.

Stop the attacks from the beginning, set limits by imposing your right to respect. Dialogue can be a way to try to improve the problem, if the person is important. Otherwise, it is important to analyze if this proximity is healthy.

Undeterred

When the person full of your self-centeredness begins to display their great capacity and innate abilities, don't let it diminish you. No person is superior to another, people have more or less knowledge in some areas, but everyone is capable of great achievements.

It's important to keep in mind that the egocentric uses the tactic of superiority to disguise their insecurities, fears and mistakes. If this relationship is not doing well, it may be time to evaluate it and seek new paths.

Constructive criticism

Self-centeredness makes people very sensitive to criticism, but it is still important to be honest about events, but always be careful when expressing yourself. Therefore, give constructive criticism as if it were tips or advice.

A good way to start the subject is by complimenting your accomplishments and good things you accomplish, and then getting into the more important subject. Making it seem like a continuation on the initial subject.

Who suffers most from self-centeredness?

The answer to who suffers most from self-centeredness, may seem obvious, being bad only for those who live with it. However, it is not so simple, of course, the egocentric gets benefits by taking advantage of the kindness of others, but this brings negative consequences for him too.

As time goes by, the people who feel used by the egocentric, end up moving away from him. And so, he becomes lonely, without friends around, because people don't want to be abused eternally. But loneliness can be beneficial for the egocentric to look at himself and end up realizing the need to change.

In this article, we have brought important and detailed information about self-centeredness and its consequences in people's lives. We hope it will help you better understand this problem and how to face it.